Transitions- Sprinkle them everywhere!
It can invite our children to cooperate, or it can send them into fight or flight.
Transitions Limit Temper Tantrums
5-11-2020
Have you ever abruptly scooped up a child from their current activity and ushered them to do something else? And then, did you suddenly witness their world ending? And then, like so many of us, wonder what the heck just happened. Our kid went from golden happy to white hot mad in an instant. What happened?
Before we analyze what happened for the child, let’s put ourselves in their little shoes for a moment.
Let’s say we are working on our computer and we finally have our thoughts together. Finally, some real progress! Our spouse suddenly comes in, says it’s time to eat, takes our computer away, and leads us to the table. He/she has so generously prepared a snack for us- it’s even our favorite snack. And apparently, NOW is the time we need to eat- no ands, ifs, or buts about it.
How would we feel? If we could avoid shanking our loving spouse right then and there, what would we do? What would we say?
A big difference is that our kiddos have little to no power to do anything- except melt. Most children aren’t yet able to articulate something like, “Mommy, I was in the middle of making the greatest Lego creation ever invented. I am almost finished. May I please have 5 minutes more to finish? Then I will be ready for a snack.”
Most children do not yet have this skill, so we must model it for them until they do.
Transitions are like magic, and they describe the 4th Pillar of Success Framework.
Ways to give transitions- use a timelapse timer and try a “when/then” statement.
Time-lapse timers are so helpful for children because it turns the confusing, intangible idea of time into something they can see passing by. It helps a child understand and see that in 5 minutes Lego creations need to be set down because it’s almost time to eat.
Another transitional strategy is the when/then statement. It might go something like this: “When the timer goes off, then we will have a snack.” Or, “When you have finished picking up the legos off the floor, then the snack will be ready to eat.” Or, “When you have put on your lifejacket, then we can swim.”
The reason these transitions are so successful is because they give the power to the child! That small feeling of power is usually the boost of fuel they need, and then they are more readily willing to launch into what we have asked them to do.
Transitions are one of the most useful tools I have used with both guiding my daughter and guiding a group of preschoolers in my nature school.
Transitions are truly amazing!
Do you use transitions already? I would love to hear of your success! Reply also if this is new and you want some additional ideas!
Remember to keep connection front and center, and moments of correction (and tantrums) will be reduced.
Your Connection Coach
~Meagan
P.S. – Please join our facebook group! There, we talk about all things child development, parenting, cooking, communication, and connection! https://www.facebook.com/groups/parentchildcommunication/?ref=group_header
Thank you again for joining me in a more aware state of connected parenting!