Tone is Everything!
It can invite us to cooperate, or it can send us into fight or flight.
Tonality Tip!
(5-13-2020)
Tonality as a Parenting Strategy!
I want to reveal two amazing guiding strategies, that when combined together, are like magic- for both you and your child! They are Tonality and “Say it with a word”! Hang with me as I explain!
Through my many years of working with young children, I have found that saying requests in a sing-songy manner encourages children to listen in an almost enchanting way. Singing or even pseudo-singing implements an element of playfulness that is essential when working with children and maintaining quality connection. The effectiveness of tonality for children can be explained by science and is a strategy often used in preschools such as Montessori and Waldorf. Luckily, tonality can also be easily applied in the home!
For example, instead of projecting something like, “No eating in the living room” or “Take off your muddy shoes”, we might use intonation to remind a child of the rules. Example, “Carpet” can be sung with a rising and falling intonation and will gently remind the child to get off the carpet. And, “Muddy shoes”, simply sung, will give a sufficient reminder to a child of their infraction and what they need to do. An additional, “Broom” might be needed as another simple cue.
So Interesting right!?
You might be noticing that the example reminders are practically single words. This is intentional! When reminding children of duties, often less is more. And if either party, child or parent, is agitated or angry, less is definitely more!
This second tip of “Say it with a Word” comes from the teachings of Joanna Farber and Julie King in their book, “How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen”. Here they teach us the golden rule around less is more. (This book is brilliant! I strive to read it at least once a year. I strongly encourage anyone who deals with children on a regular basis to read this book- often. Everyone benefits when our parenting tool boxes are filled with useful tools!)
There you have it!
I encourage you to try it! Try using tonality while saying “It” with a word. Let me know how it goes!
If you have any questions and would like private coaching, feel free to book a call. Also, feel free to ask questions in the private facebook community group. There we strive to help eachother out on this crazy journey we call parenting! https://www.facebook.com/groups/parentchildcommunication/?ref=group_header
Remember, We’re in this together!
Your Connection Coach
~Meagan