“I wish I would have had these tools for my other children when they were little. Our lives would have been so much easier. It’s not fair. Will you please create a program for regular everyday parents?”
- Said so many parents I used to work with while doing communication therapy.
Okay. I hear you. Yes I will!
Hi! I’m Meagan!
~Parent-Child Communication Consultant. (A fancy way of saying I help parents discover the easy proven-effective ways to help their kids listen.)
I’m the owner and creator of Connected Kids Thrive. I’m also the designer and host of the group Connected Kids Thrive Community and developer of The Connecting in the Kitchen Method– my signature program.
I literally designed my program at the request of parents.
I took my multitude of experiences serving children and families, and I combined all the strategies I used to help them communicate together better into a signature program that I am thrilled to share with the world.
I am honored to have a hand in the positive transformations of families.
My method takes parents from overwhelmed and frustrated to equipped, calm, and confident so that they can guide their children in ways that motivate them to WANT to listen and cooperate.
Communicating effectively with kiddos helps everyone feel heard and respected, and therefore, the parent-child connection stays strong even through the turbulence of correcting, disciplining, growing, and “becoming. ”
Simply put, we, as parents, have to change our approaches if we want positive results with our kids. It starts with us. Even though this reality check is kind of “heavy, ” it’s good to know! Why? Because it is easier to learn and change ourselves and our approaches than to change another person- especially little people.
So, what is happening to our kids these days?
The pendulum of discipline is swinging away from hitting and using fear and force based tactics on our kids as an acceptable method of parenting.
This is good.
But now what?
Many parents and society at large might agree that hitting/manipulating/punishing kids has just as many negative consequences as permissive parenting- which is letting kids have a “run of the roost” so to speak.
Parents and kiddos alike are a little lost as to what to do. Responsive-based and communication-based parenting is NOT intuitive. Knee-jerk, reaction-based parenting IS intuitive. That is just how the brain is wired. Reacting is easy and automatic, but not always beneficial. ***And, after all, we can only naturally deliver/teach/use what we know- and that is what was delivered/taught/used on us as kids… It is a cycle.
Now, unfortunately, way too many of our homes are filled with yelling and anxiety and frustration and guilt – for everyone. A common describing word from parents that I get often is that they feel lost. Everyone seems a little lost and overwhelmed. Parents set up boundaries, even ever so kindly, and kids step on them. The cooperation and respect are lost.
So how can we get our kiddos to listen if we aren’t going to threaten them with punishments, force, and fear?
Answer– We use effective communication!
We, as parents, in my community, are committed to designing our own parenting journeys to ensure an intertwined balance of growth and joy and functioning as a family.
We also recognize that we are designing our children’s journey of childhood and want to ensure a balance of growth and joy for them
Many of us here are cycle breakers.
Parents are sick of hitting and yelling at their kids. Kids are sick of being hit and yelled at by their parents.
So how do we ensure an intertwined balance of growth and joy?
Answer– We learn and implement effective communication which helps with ensuring intentional responses!
So instead of yelling and losing it when our child drops an opened bag of chocolate chips, we can respond with, “Oopsie, we have a mess. That’s okay. Accidents happen. What do we need to get this cleaned up? Would you like any help?”
This response meets all end goals: learning, reflection, and connection.
So…
Who the heck am I to be doing this important work? What do I know?
4 key ingredients that make me and what I do, and my approach, unique and beneficial:
1– I had previously designed my own nature and play-based childcare/preschool.
I naively thought that was going to be a piece of cake. Ha!
It was crazy challenging and amazingly beautiful work.
My kiddos compelled me to continually research, try, and tweak ongoing strategies that would help me effectively communicate with them in ways that would entice them to WANT to listen to me and WANT to listen to each other. We couldn’t just survive our days. We had to thrive! And we did!
They also taught me the desire and value of cooking with Littles.
2– I used to work in Early Childhood Intervention as a Speech Language Pathology Assistant helping Littles and parents learn how to communicate more effectively together. I was privileged and honored to have a hand in helping families transform their lives.
My time serving families in ECI helped me realize that ALL parents need and WANT access to these proven strategies. I know this because they told me. Time and time again, families would tell me that they wished they had learned these same communication strategies when their older children were small. They were disheartened at realizing how their lives could have been so much easier, but that they just didn’t know the strategies, the steps, or have a plan.
They literally talked me into creating a program for regular, everyday parents and kiddos- to help them cooperate together for reduced frustrations and increased connection and just overall functional and happier homes.
So I did!
I took the wonderful work that I was honored and privileged to get to do in the in-home and therapeutic settings, and now I provide the same transformational service in the online parenting space. Even better is that what would be designed into a 1-2 year process, I have fast-tracked into a 3 month program- for ALL parents.
I include sample scenarios with specific language scripts for practice and functional application. I teach you WHAT to say and HOW to say it. And, one of the coolest elements is that I use the kitchen and cooking together as a motivating vehicle for trying the strategies.
I teach proven-effective tools and communication strategies that will help you meet most every challenge your child throws at you with calm and confidence. **Learn how to respond and not react! **Learn how to keep frustrations and corrections low and cooperation and connection high in your family!
3– I am a parent myself and am going through the process of fostering and adopting.
Taking all the necessary and ongoing trainings that will help us understand and become more equipped to more appropriately manage deeper behaviors and traumas of the Littles coming into our lives has made me more equipped to parent and lead.
4– My undergrad degree is in communication delays and disorders.
This gives me an edge because I understand the neurological component behind childhood development, and that helps me understand the whole child- not just the surface stuff. ***And that helps me ask the right questions and get to the “Why” behind a behavior. It helps me break all this behavior stuff down for parents so we can strategically pick effective strategies.
During my studies and practices, I have always focused on pediatrics. Kiddos have my heart! They are our future. It is up to us to give them the tools for success. The state of our world depends on it.
No pressure, right!
We can do this!
Let me now share some specifics of the program.
The Connecting in the Kitchen Method- A Parenting Course
Logistics:
The Connecting in the Kitchen Methodology is an online, 12week/12module, step-by-step, 1:1 weekly intimate coaching program. Through it, you will receive the tools that will take you from frustrated and overwhelmed to calm, confident, and equipped in your parenting journey.
Through the online content hub- which is where all the initial learning and action tasks are housed- we cover many of the typical topics and causes of frustration for families: everything from daily routines like picking up toys, to chores (contributions), to homework, to grocery shopping, to mealtimes, and beyond.
There are 3 main phases:
1st- setting you up for success! You’ll get your parenting journal for your reflective work and you will also really start the process of authentically connecting with your child(ren) in intentional ways that help them want to behave.
2nd- I will introduce my powerful framework. This framework will help you begin to be able to stop your tendencies of being reactive to your child’s behaviors. The framework will help you activate quick and easy strategies so you can be intentional in your response so that your child truly receives the lesson, all while helping you both stay respectful and cooperative so that your connection remains intact.
3rd- This phase will help you hold your boundaries on your expectations and the limits you set- in the home, kitchen, and beyond! (Let’s chat about it for more specifics!)
Through all of the phases, I give you exact scripts of WHAT to say and HOW to say it.
This helps your child respond to your directives by actually listening and cooperating.
The best part- these strategies carry over to every other potential curveball your child could throw at you in any setting. Learning to solve a meltdown in the kitchen helps to solve it when going to bed, trying to get out the door, chore time, etc. ***I help you learn how to meet most every challenge your child presents you with calm and intention.
P.S.- ***You get to keep the content hub forever! The only reason it would go away is if I dismantled the program. (It’s my life’s work, so I definitely don’t foresee that happening!) Regardless, you are encouraged to print the handouts for your journal and practice and reflection work. Many of the handouts are designed for you and your children.
Have no fear!
You will still get blindsided and mess up! I do too! We are all human after all! But with practice, the quantity of missed curveballs goes down and the repair process quickens and the quality of relationship between you and your child is readily restored. Lessons are learned, habits are changed, and family patterns are reset. Homes are functional and happier! Relationships are restored.
Private Fb Community
Also included in the program is a private, program specific Facebook community where you can ask any question – related to anything- and you will get support from me the same day! Parents get their struggles solved quickly!
The community is full of parents really dedicated to learning these proven-effective, science-based, communication strategies and tools.
Parents also love the community because everybody helps each other out and suggests possible strategies when a parent shares a struggle.
The group is great for accountability and camaraderie as you move through the course and really elevate your parenting.
1:1 live weekly coaching!
Parents love coming to the live 1:1 coaching within a group setting.
Come to the live coaching calls and share your struggles and we will hash out what is going on and how to use specific communication strategies to solve it!
Everyone learns something from other parents’ struggles and solutions. We as parents all struggle with similar-ish things. Hearing others’ challenges and solutions helps us feel connected and equipped!
Zoom Coobaking Connection Sessions!
Those in my program love joining the group coobaking sessions over zoom! We vote on a recipe and then we practice what we are learning in the kitchen with our kiddo(s)! The main point here is to really bake our bonds through the whole process!
So fun! So beneficial!
Why the name of the program: The Connecting in the Kitchen Method?
It encompasses all the essential elements:
-Connection, kitchen, and a step-by-step system for ensuring success in cooperation for both parent and child.
Why cooking?
So many reasons, but coobaking is unmistakably one of the best things we can do with our kiddos. ***To discover the 25+ ways that coobaking with kids is beneficial, check out my article. (Link below.)
My favorite reason is this:
***Engaging in the kitchen with our children provides evidence of our cooperation together, communicating together, and working together as a team.
Further, coobaking together produces something so delicious at the end and is tangible evidence of our dedicated time spent together doing something special. This helps kiddos experience a deep sense of felt-connection.
Remember, our kiddos must have a deep sense of felt-connection, aka felt-love, before any negative behaviors can be addressed.
We use cooking together as a tool to cultivate meaningful connection and cooperation for parent and child. Cooking is a really motivating environment for learning and cooperating; therefore, it is a main vehicle for trying strategies and teaching skills. The most amazing part is that skills learned in the kitchen together will carry-over into all other daily rhythms such as picking up toys, getting dressed, etc.
***Note- Parents are sometimes a little worried about the cooking aspect, but please let me lay your concerns to rest. We have a specific protocol to ensure cooking/baking is easy and a success for all- parents and children.
Plus- I am here to support you during this whole process of learning and applying proven-effective communication strategies. I am here to help when questions or challenges are foreseen or unexpectedly arrive.
I am here to help you elevate your skills and help you move from where you are in your parenting journey to where you want to be.
Lastly, I want to say this:
Up till now– the meltdowns, the yelling, the fighting, the overwhelm, the lostness, etc. has NOT been your fault. The proven-effective communication techniques are just not common knowledge.
So unless your parents knew them and practiced them with you, (which is definitely not the case for most of us) then there is no way for you to have been able to use them with your children. But now you know where the breakdown and disconnect is. Now you know, and you can’t go back to unknowing.
These communication strategies must be learned to be practiced.
Of course, they can be read about anywhere, but having an expert to give support and guidance is paramount in effectively changing habits and your parenting journey.
Most of us here are cycle-breakers. We want to parent differently than how we were parented. And we want our children to parent their children – our grandchildren- in respectful, intentional, cooperation and connection based ways. That is how we truly break cycles.
Become the parent you desire to be! I’m honored to be here as your guide, if you’ll have me.
With intentional communication and connection,
~Meagan
***Remember, “When we learn how to do better, we are able to do better.” ~M.D.
~ This applies for our children of course. And it also applies to us!~
P.S.- If you want to know more about me and my own journey that inspired me to create my program and serve parents in the unique way that I do, read more about that HERE.
–Click HERE to discover the 25+ ways that coobaking with kids is beneficial in developing all skills and more importantly, your connection together!
-If you are interested in chatting about your own parenting journey, where you are, and where you want to be, book a free call with me HERE.
I’d love to hear your story!
-And of course, if you haven’t yet and would like to, join our free parenting community full of parents all dedicated to this important work HERE.
Enjoy!
Cheers!
~Meagan Duncan
with Connected Kids Thrive