Cooking With Our Kiddos

Every parent knows that cooking/baking with littles has numerous benefits- but many may not know what the exact benefits are or the reason behind each benefit. 

***Note- for simplicity purposes, I may periodically combine the words cooking and baking together to form “coobaking.”  – **It actually appears that this is already a real word! Cool!

So, before we get into all the benefits, I wanted to share a bit of a back story of how I came to this discovery. And then I’ll list several benefits of cooking and explain the ‘why’ behind the magic.

 I have worked with children in some capacity my entire life. One of the most profound experiences I have ever had was designing and operating my preschool/childcare.

Here is a snapshot of our story:

We had 1.5 acres of raw space to play, be curious, get dirty, make experiments, etc. We had a gigantic mud kitchen and farm animals. We often went on walks to see the neighbor’s miniature horses and donkeys, and we played in a nearby stream, built dams and made hot-dog stick-poles to go crawdad fishing. We went hiking, hunted duck and chicken eggs, had a big sustaining garden, and we cooked our own meals every day. Yea, it was a reality dream for sure!  

During our time together, I started noticing a pattern. Even though we did a variety of really amazing things every day, the children loved cooking together. In fact, they seemed to love cooking together the most, out of everything we did. It was the cooking that was the most meaningful to them and they requested to do it all the time.

So, as an early childhood educator, I knew that I needed to give children what they needed. And clearly, these kids needed to cook! They needed to create in this way! So, we did!

We began cooking/baking and creating our own breakfasts, lunches, and snacks- pretty much every day. Every-single-day! 

We made our own bread, pancakes, tortillas, salads, everything. Yes, even cookies! And it was through this process that I made several discoveries!

I could use the platform of the kitchen and cooking together to embed concepts for teaching the essential soft skills and hard skills necessary for success in early childhood and beyond. Not only could cookies, or any edible, be the delivery mechanism for so much learning of the mind, but they could be made healthy, to also support the body nutritionally.

Cookies became our magic methodology.

Through cookies, and coobaking together, I was able to teach the essential soft skills like patience, problem-solving, forgiveness, team-work, manners, etc. The measurable hard skills, such as reading, math, fractions, higher level vocabulary, research, making predictions, science, etc. were also easily and naturally incorporated into our experience of making cookies and making any other dish.

I noticed any skill could be taught in the kitchen- as long as fun and connection were at the forefront. And those skills and learned competencies would then be carried on into other routines in life. It was amazing that so much could be gained and learned all while connecting with a child’s loved adult in the kitchen. Cooking together really had it all, and the children loved it all. We all thrived!

With us being together in the kitchen so much, I noticed that it was definitely the most language rich room in the house! In fact, there is a fascinating longitudinal study from MIT called Birth of a Word, and they analyze language development and how the kitchen is a central communication hub.

So much happens in the kitchen, as it is the hub of all the hustle and bustle. It is the only room in the house we really can’t live without. (Kidding -not kidding!)  
We go to this room to get many of our needs met. Our most visceral human need- to eat and nourish ourselves is satiated here. We go to this room to meet the needs of others, the ones we love most in this world – our family – our children. It is how we make other families and guests feel welcome. The kitchen just seems to hold everything key to life.

But the kitchen holds another valuable tool, it provides a platform for deeply connecting. 

Beyond the kitchen being the room dedicated to holding the nourishment for our bodies, it also holds opportunities for nourishing our bonds with our children. Cooking and baking with our children can set them and us on the path to being better humans.

For example, cooking and baking together can promote not only the development of language, but also the development of empathy, compassion, problem-solving, forgiveness, respect, and open-mindedness and open-heartedness, etc. These are the fundamentally necessary skills needed for a cooperative and prosperous world. 

Of course being in the kitchen together cooking is also a wonderful place to learn about math, numbers, addition, fractions, and solving story problems of how many cookies would need to be made if we were to give each child on earth one and a half cookies.
***Do you see how just that question opens-up a world of conversation and learning that can be tailored to the level of the child?

The kitchen and cookies really do provide a perfect platform for communicating, connecting, questioning, and modeling.

Children of all ages, literally, can participate in kitchen and food conversations and engagements. Some people think that some children may be too young to be in the kitchen participating in meal prep and conversation. I disagree!

No age is too young to be in the kitchen learning. Whether your child is being carried in a pouch, in a highchair, in a toddler stool, on a stepstool, they can and should be a part of the magic of participating in the kitchen experience. Obviously safety is key, but it is a worthwhile risk to be mitigated!

Check out the infographic below for 25+ reasons to get into the kitchen with your littles.
 

The benefits of cooking with our kiddos are endless! 
Here are some more essential elements or “ingredients” that you may or may not have considered before:

Food is integral to humanness.Food and eating together is integral to all cultures, albeit to different degrees. This is where lessons of the day, religion, politics, family values, and other important matters are discussed and learned. Minds and hearts are expanded and connected. Eating together is where traditions are made and passed down to the next generation.

Coobaking is mysterious and awe inspiring
Coobaking is magical and mysterious for children. Raw food is brought into the kitchen, the adult bangs things around, uses some fire and loud equipment, and wala – dinner is served.

The kitchen is often an area that is off limits – there by virtue of human nature- makes kids curious and want to be in there and a part of the process.

Naturally Motivating
Coobaking is considered as valuable as play to a child. Therefore, it’s a really motivating setting. We can use this natural motivation to help teach skills like waiting, sharing, listening, etc.

Baking your Bonds – Bonding
Coobaking together provides evidence of cooperation-  working together, communicating together,  – it produces something so delicious.

In fact, I would argue that cooking with our kids is one of the very most important things we can do with them.

When we cook with our kiddos, we are letting them know that we WANT to spend time together with them- that they are the priority!

A child must feel loved and experience felt-connection. When a child feels loved, their attention needs are being met- and they will engage less in less desirable behaviors to get attention.  

Coobaking is Symbolic

Parent and child are literally creating something together- working together–cooperating together— and at the end– there is tangible edible evidence of that dedicated time to each other.     

***I was having a conversation recently with a grandmother, and she shared that she didn’t cook with her own kiddos because she never thought about it and she was just busy.  She deeply regrets it.  She has no memories of making anything delicious with her children, and therefore, her children have no memories of that with her either.  She was in tears over missing out on the connection and magic of being in the kitchen together with her own children.  We were both pretty choked up. 

But- she is dedicated to changing that with her grandchildren. Her missed opportunity has been given a second chance! And she’s all over it!

Fun!
Coobaking with littles is one of the most fun things we can do to deeply connect with them in a really meaningful way.  

  
Art and self-expression
The kitchen is a blank canvas and behind each cupboard door there are magic ingredients to be added to an evolving  edible creation.

$- Energy exchange
Coobaking is one of the less extravagant yet most enjoyable and valuable activities we can do with our kiddos.

Life Skills
We are giving skills for life!  Yes, cooking skills, of course, but more importantly we are giving connecting skills.  Talking in the kitchen is just natural and can lead to deep, important conversations later. 

Equipped, self sufficient, independent kids
The amount of young adults entering the real world of independence without basic kitchen/coobaking skills is astounding. Our youth are eating fast food/ processed food, because they are ill equipped. The effects are overreaching and costly to them and society. 

Appreciation and Empathy

We as parents often feel unappreciated for our efforts when it comes to cooking, mealtimes, and eating-time with our families. But ya know what, it is hard to appreciate something that you truly don’t understand. So when kiddos start to get a feel of the process of planning, preparing, actually cooking, presenting, and then tidying up the mess, then they realize the dedication it takes. Only then can they truly appreciate such efforts.

Delegation 

As parents, we take on and keep too much of the family work. A family is supposed to be a team in all things. Kiddos must learn how to give and take. It is the greatest feeling – for both parent and child- when kids are true contributors and creators of the kitchen. When they can be truly helpful or even take over completely- we will know we have done part of our job as a parent. 

Cooking is confidence building!
When a child has been exposed to the kitchen process, in positive ways, then overtime they have the confidence that they handle all the kitchen elements with ease. Coobaking is a very “adultish” thing to be able to do. Kids, even smallish kids, love it when they have the power to take over and create a dish or even a meal!  Their confidence explodes!

Natural consequences
The beauty of natural consequences is an amazingly beneficial thing.
For example, when a kid in the kitchen accidentally let’s the pasta water boil over and they discover how fun it is to clean it up,  they learn to be more aware. This opportunity takes one time to learn, generally!  But, all too often, we as parents, often choose to remind or even take over so that the pasta water doesn’t boil over.
And
When a child is washing a dish and it slips and breaks, they learn to hold more thoughtfully.
Etc!   The opportunities to learn are endless! As long as we, as parents, don’t steal the opportunities to learn from our children. 

Taste-testing
Tasting someone’s food is one of the most sacred forms of trust. When an adult tastes a child’s cookie or other creation, it reveals deep trust very concretely for the child.

This form of trust is almost like a dog laying belly up, revealing the internal organs and their trust in you to caress them and not hurt them.  

 And vice versa, when they taste the food we have created for them, they are revealing how much they trust us with their lives. This may sound exaggerated, but when their palate isn’t developed and they have a possible visceral aversion to something we have made, and they still so often accept the food to some degree- and when they do they are literally putting their lives in our hands.

Tasting a child’s dish
Do it! 
I sometimes get the comment that people are shocked that I am willing to taste all my child’s creations. Of course I am. They aren’t going to be poisonous, or toxic. Therefore, I’m all in.

Don’t you not think it would be the highest form of hypocrisy for me to refuse a tasting bite? I expect her to take at least one bite of my creations, why would I not extend the same courtesy to her?

I want to model for her open-mindedness in all that I do. I want my daughter to try new and different things- in all capacities – comfortable and uncomfortable. So yes, If I know something won’t kill me, even though it may look or smell “interesting,” you bet your bacon that I’m going to taste it.

  “I don’t prefer it at this time.”
Another thing we do is use the phrase, “I don’t prefer it at this time.” It is okay not to like something and it is okay to state so. However, it is not okay to show displeasure in inconsiderate ways. We avoid saying the phrase, “I don’t like it.” And, instead we say “Thank you, but I don’t prefer it at this time.” When we are doing this, we are leaving the possible idea that maybe in the future I will try it again and maybe in the future I will like it.

 We also say “I don’t prefer this at this time,”  intentionally because it helps the host feel appreciated and not get defensive. A child saying “I don’t like it” is one of the quickest ways to send an adult right into fight or flight. 

The eyes may be the portal to the soul, but the mouth is the portal to connection. Both communicatively and gustatorily. 

Open-ness to trying new healthier foods

When children are a part of the action in the kitchen then they are more willing to try the foods being prepared. Why? Because the foods are less foreign and there is less pressure to eat and try. Everything is just a little more fun and light and the child feels a little more in control 

Sensory integration- Integrating all 8 main senses

When our kiddos get to knead the dough or pound out the protein, they engage their core and whole body to balance on the step stool and anytime they practice pouring ever so thoughtfully, they are integrating all their senses.  This is vital for a grounded, regulated kid. Yes of course integrating sensory systems can happen outside the kitchen, (I am always promoting free time in nature) but it can happen inside the kitchen as well!  

Mealtimes and eating times are less of a hassle

Coobaking with our child just sets the tone and motivation to help them be their best self. Having been together in the kitchen laughing and connecting (aka- activating all those feel good hormones to flood the brain. A child is more apt to follow requests or even initiate things like setting the table. 

And a whole lot more…!

As you can see, connecting in the kitchen with our kiddos is truly one of the most important things we can do! 

It’s not really about cooking the food is it!?!?  It’s mostly about connecting with our child in mind, body, and being. 

Many parents are afraid of coobaking with their children for many reasons. Most reasons that are shared with me are that they are worried their child won’t listen, or that they will hurt themselves, or that the mess will be overwhelming, or that the kids will fight with each other, or that they won’t help clean up, etc.

But as we learned, being able to successfully cook and bake with our kiddos is symbolic of our overall level of cooperation and connection together. 

So, even if you are just starting out and the level of success is just the break and bake with simply putting the already cut cookies onto the cookie sheet- that is a perfect place to start! Your children will love it yours and their feelings of felt-connection will be evident!

If you are interested in learning more about how to drastically reduce the frustrations, the meltings, and the yelling and get ongoing respect, cooperation, and deep connection with your kiddos – in and out of the kitchen- then book a connection breakthrough call HERE. 
Let’s have a chat about what your current parenting journey and your children’s current childhood journeys look like, and what you WANT for yourself as a parent, and what you want for them.

Or if you want a brief rundown of the program check it out here.

I think that is all for now!
Talk to you soon!
Cheers!

With mindful communication and connection,
~Meagan

P.S. ***Remember, “When we learn how to do better, then we are able to do better.” ~MD
This applies to our kiddos of course!  And it also applies to us!

***If you want to know more about me and my own story of what led me to this place of serving children and families, read my bio  Here.)

(Birth of a Word)