“I don’t like it.”

We work so hard on a meal to provide for our families. We try to incorporate different foods for balanced nutrition. But, time always feels so short. Groceries and so darn expensive, especially the healthy stuff. It seems like the world is against us.

Yet, we somehow create the time to make it happen- the shopping, the cooking,- all of it.  So we conjure our inner pseudo-Rachael Ray and create a meal that we are pretty dang proud of. It’s not perfect, but it’s fairly balanced and nutrient dense, and it’s definitely from the heart. And we agree with the message that home-cooked meals are part of the binding-glue that holds a family together. After all, fast food can’t happen every day. Nor do we want it to.

So we make it happen. We create our family a meal and we set down the plates for everyone at the table. And what do we hear almost immediately?   Those dreaded 4 words-  “I don’t like it.” 

So many emotions immediately pour over us. It feels enraging when our efforts are not only not appreciated, but completely actively wasted- practically spit on. 

It’s no wonder we take it extremely personal. We may yell our feelings and thoughts at our kids or we may slump down in defeat, not understanding how our efforts could be so unappreciated.

But, the good news is it doesn’t have to be this way.

There are many ways to alleviate some of the stress at meal time, but the one I want to talk about today is helping your child shift the phrase from “I don’t like it” to “I don’t prefer it at this time.”  

This is a very useful phrase that will help you and your child feel more honored and respected. It will give the child some agency over eating, and it allows space for you to be appreciated.

Imagine creating a meal and hearing, “Thank you mom, but I don’t prefer this at this time. Maybe I will next time. Thank you for taking the time to make it. I love all the colors.” Imagine that, instead of “I don’t like it.” 

The new phrase may not be our ultimate desire, but it is a step in the right direction. The shift may seem subtle, but it does make a difference- especially in maintaining heart-to-heart connection. And that connection is essential- especially around food/eating. 

So – How to implement this:
Have a chat with your family that this is the new phrase everyone is going to use. Remember to invite them into the problem solving process. That is how you get their buy-in. Then consider practicing this in fun! Make it a bonding moment. 

Secret sauce tip #1- As always, MODEL it from your position. 

Ex- I don’t like suckers. Ya know those dum-dum things. So instead of saying, “No thank you. I don’t like it.” when my daughter offers me a lick, I’ll try to say, “Okay, I generally do not prefer these, but I’ll try it.” I lick it. Then I say, “Thank you for sharing, but I do not prefer this flavor at this time. Maybe I’ll like it next time. I do love the color blue though!” 
(I’ll tell you, it’s awesome when I spontaneously hear this language used back from my daughter!) 

Secret sauce tip#2- Chat about the tongue and how taste buds change everyday. Even though we might not prefer something today, we might next time! 

There you have it!

I hope you found this info helpful!

If you are interested in learning more about Connecting in the Kitchen and my method for helping families learn communication strategies while enhancing their bond by cooking together, please reach out to me by email contact@connectedkidsthrive.com

And, if you are not already in our community of parents- please join us here https://www.facebook.com/groups/parentchildcommunication

P.S. My eBook on how to Learn and Grow in the Kitchen is available here  Store – Connected Kids Thrive  Check it out for quick easy tips on communicating and strengthening the bond you have with your Littles. 

Cheers and Good luck! 

With elevated communication and connection,

~Meagan